The importance of fathers

I recently attended a seminar on fathers that discussed the impact fathers have on their children. Many fathers may not be aware of the important role they play in their child’s life, both in childhood and beyond. For instance, research suggests fathers serve as a template for their child’s relationships to authority figures, and for girls, close relationships with men. In addition, a good relationship between father and daughter has been shown to help guard his daughter against premature sexualisation. In other words, adolescent girls who are close to their dads generally engage later in sexualised behaviours (e.g. wearing revealing clothing and heavy make-up, or becoming sexually active) than girls who aren’t close to their dads.

Emotional closeness with fathers (i.e. children being able to share their emotions with their father, and receiving validation from them) is incredibly important to a child’s wellbeing. Research suggests that enabling children to talk about their emotions with their fathers is much more important for separated families than fathers providing a fun time for the kids each visit. 

As well as having the capacity to do great good in their children’s lives, fathers also have the capacity to do ill. Children in regular contact with fathers who display anti-social behaviour are at high risk of emulating that behaviour. And if fathers are abusive towards their child’s mother, sons will learn this behaviour, and daughters are more likely to accept this behaviour towards themselves from men.

So, if I could summarise what I learned from this seminar to take away it would be, Fathers, take a little bit of time regularly (20 minutes a week) just to talk with, and listen to, your child so that they can tell you what’s happening in their lives, and receive your support and understanding.