Are you a people-pleaser?

If you're a people-pleaser, you'll probably:

• Find yourself worrying more than most about what other people think of you
• Try to ensure that you don't upset anyone
• Try to be liked by everyone
• Avoid saying anything controversial
• Put your needs after everyone else's

I should note that people-pleasing isn't all bad news: It can be very helpful to get along well with others. However, if we become overly concerned about pleasing others, it can be a pathway to anxiety and depression. This might also sound strange, but if we become accustomed to always pleasing others, we never get the chance to learn that it's not catastrophic when we do sometimes upset or offend someone.

If you think you need to reduce your people-pleasing tendencies, here are a few ideas to help you behave in a way that's a little less 'pleasing':

• Experiment with being slightly more assertive than usual, e.g. clearly stating your preferences for an activity on the weekend, or a TV show you want to watch, or a place you want to eat at for dinner
• Say 'no' to requests sometimes
• Tell someone when you disagree with them

I should point out that I'm not advocating unnecessary conflict. However, it's important for your own wellbeing that keeping everyone else happy doesn't become your main mission in life.