Why is school so hard? A clinical perspective

As an adult, going to school may seem a pretty good deal - you don't have to decide what to wear, you do what the teachers tell you, see friends, and then come home and do some homework. But in reality school poses many hidden challenges and is a great source of distress for many children and young people. There are several reasons for this.

Simply being at school encourages peer group comparison. What I mean by this is comparing yourself to others. When we compare unfavourably to others - maybe because others seem more popular, better looking than us, or maybe their family life seems easier, or they have more money, feelings of sadness and anxiety are bound to arise. Comparison of test results and academic achievement is unavoidable at school, and this can be particularly upsetting for students who work hard but don't achieve commensurate results.

Learning difficulties (particularly undiagnosed learning difficulties) can make school an excruciating experience. Learning difficulties may result in young people spending much of their time trying to catch up, or feeling stupid because school work is more onerous for them than their friends. Children and adolescents with learning difficulties may dread school, or pine for recess, lunch breaks, and home time. Wishing away most of the day for upward of 10 years or more is a hefty burden for anyone.

Then there are the peer and friendship issues. Research has shown that adolescents are particularly vulnerable to interpreting neutral facial expressions as hostile. Couple this with adolescent insecurity and self-consciousness, and school can become an anxiety minefield.

The competitive nature of some schools can also be a burden. Students can fall into the trap of setting unrealistic expectations for themselves in an attempt to excel, leading to procrastination, and subsequently poor academic results due to lack of preparation. This can create a self-fulfilling prophecy about limited academic talent, which has the potential to stymie achievement across the lifespan.

But school doesn't have to be this bad. If school is causing significant emotional pain for your child, consider approaching the school about your concerns. The School Counsellor is a good person to start with. If you're uncomfortable approaching the school, consider speaking to your GP or a mental health professional about your concerns.